Thursday, June 23, 2011

I had a revelation at Burger King

Today I went to Burger King.  I don't even know how long it has been since I sat in the play area of a fast food restaurant.   But that's where I was when I made the firm decision to revive the family blog.  Lindsay is gone to EFY and Shelby was at the beach with a friend.  So I told Owen it was his day and he could do whatever he wanted.  First, he called a friend.  They played video games while I did the yard work I have been putting off for months.  We decided that we would go somewhere for lunch- kid's choice.  They decided on Burger King because they wanted to go somewhere with a play area and Owen said the one at McDonald's smells like feet.   So I found myself sitting in the play area eating a Rodeo Cheeseburger (it's a little cheeseburger with BBQ sauce and two onion rings - not bad BK!), drinking my first real Diet Coke in a few days and perusing the latest Ballard Designs catalog.  There were very few kids there and the air was fresh with no foot odor whatsoever.  It was a choice moment.  As Owen and his friend ran in and out of the  play area coming back every few minutes for a sip of their drinks, I was thinking about what it was like when he was little and I had to rescue him from the Playland every time we went.  I don't know what happened up there, but he would always start crying and not come out until I crawled up through the maze of childhood/fast food grime to get him.  This happened more than just a few times and in more than just a few different playlands.  Don't ask me why I kept letting him go up.  He would always promise that he'd be brave and I would believe him.  But every time I would leave the place with sore knees and who knows what else stuck to him and me not to mention the humiliation of trying to squeeze my adult sized body into a kid sized tube while everyone in the place watched me.  Eventually, we just stopped going and then all my kids grew an aversion to all fast food and the rest is history.  Until today, when I was reminded that my blissful moment was due to the fact that I don't have little kids anymore.  No playland rescues today...and it actually made me want to cry...
So instead of wallowing in my sad,  selfish, "I'm an Old Mom" misery I decided that I needed to hold on to whatever years I have left while my kids are kids.  I need to remember the details.  I need to savor the few moments we have left.  I need to talk it out and write it down, document it and put pictures to it.  I am not out to give sage advice, or make my life seem perfect, or try and make it the cutest on the block.  In fact, I kind of hope no one will read it from here on out.  Takes some of the pressure off.  I just want to be able to remember days like today.